偉民 (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} andr00) wrote,@ 2003-11-18 04:39:00 |
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I run that quiz from ladycalliope into the ground
I'm just warming up for an entry in my real journal. This journal rejects me. This journal threw me away.
1) What's the middle name of first person you slept with?
Akiko. Is this one of those questions where the questioner just wants to find out if you've slept with anyone? I don't understand why, but lots of quizzes are sprinkled with this kind of vaguely prurient yet naive question. But what if their middle name was the same as my middle name? Now THERE'S some information!
2) What kind of underwear are you wearing, and what color are they?
Cotton boxer briefs, which are black. Why are you so interested in my underwear? My guess is, this question is to find out whether a girl wears thongs, which are currently fashionable. IN THAT IT HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL.
3) What song do you want played at your funeral?
Unterlanders Heimweh. No! Uh.. seriously, some crazy arpeggio filled church organ thing, like what Dracula plays when he's feeling musically pissed off. I don't want pop music serenading my dead flesh or my poor mourners.
4) What is the number of your sluttiest friend so that some of your single friends can get some action?
WHAT? What the hell kind of quiz tries to take advantage of my friends with poor boundaries? Fuck off, quiz.
5) What would your last meal be before being executed?
Oh, donuts from Family Donut, and fried chicken from Ezell's. Their slogan could be, "almost worth committing a capital crime for!"
6) Beatles or Stones?
Lard. I'm not entertaining your damn false dilemma... this time.
7) If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be?
That lucky person would be Santa Claus. Die, judgemental polar elf!
8) The person whose problems you wouldn't want to hear?
If your worst problem is that there's two points of taxation in your dividend income stream, shut up.
9) What is the thing most important to you about the preferred sex?
A powerful mission statement... and nice boobs! Okay, seriously, it's important that they be aware of the influences of information. I dunno if that's the most important thing. I can sorta imagine it, but it's hard to describe it other than that they have to be pretty smart in pretty specific ways.
10) Do you secretly hate some of your friends but are too nice to reject them?
I respect every last one of my friends enough to tell them when I hate them.
11) If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Super-teleporting power! So practical. I'll drive FedEx into the ground! I could say "word to your mother", and then actually have a brief encouraging word with your mother.
12) Favorite hangover cure?
It's pretty good: starting the night before you get the hangover, drink lots of water and not as much alcohol, and try not to be such a disgusting moron.
13) How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
Not really that many. However, from this metric you can calculate biological parameters, so I'm protecting that information.
14) Favorite Outkast lyric?
I like this one snare drum noise in one of their songs. So I guess it says "fwappppp".
15) Hair color you most like someone you're dating to have?
Medium brown to dark/black. Or reddish. Or blonde. Or bright green. Or none. I intensely dislike people whose hair exists and is not a color. Transparent? Eugh! Pass!
16) If you had to be blind or deaf, which would you choose?
Blind. You're basically asking me to choose between SUPER HEARING and HUGE GESTURE VOCABULARY. What about losing other senses? You forget about touch, taste, smell? Man, I'd trade my sense of smell for five bucks. Then I'd buy a bus pass and ride in comfort.
17) Do you have any psychiatric problems?
Think I've got everything sort of under control here. So maybe I'm overly controlling. ha
18) Siblings that should go to rehab?
Not anymore! Go, my awesome siblings.
19) Least favorite month?
January. It's like the Monday of the year. Or wait.. make that September. The name seems to imply it's the seventh month, but it's the 9th. All the months from then on have that 2-off problem. Also dumb things happen in September like usenet going to hell and
Kris getting older.
20) Favorite hateful thing to do to somebody?
Add consonants to the front of their name (or change an existing one) to try and make unpleasant words and say these to myself contemptuously. Andrew the bandrew, the big fat fandrew...pfft.
21) First movie you remember seeing as a kid?
Krull. Did you know they just re-released Krull on DVD last year? Yep. In fucking SEPTEMBER!!!
22) Favorite person in the whole world?
I hate playing favorites.. I love you all!
23) When's the last time you went on a date?
I don't date. I just hang out with people and then sleep with em.
24) Do you like violent movies or dirty movies?
I liked "L.A. Confidential", so the answer to this overly general question must be yes. What else is there to watch? Even "Bambi" is violent and has animals getting ready to make out.
25) Fall or spring?
What the fuck are you trying to ask me here? At least this isn't one of those quizzes where the whole thing is just 100% false dilemmas. Fall. As in, fall off a cliff and splat.
26) Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
I don't regret any of that making out, really, and if I have to choose, I can see this getting back to them somehow and making them feel bad. What the fuck good does that do?
27) If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
Nobody so far. All you guys seem weirdly unappealing, despite how sexy you supposedly are.
28) Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle?
Hawaii. I can visit Ed, who will also be living there. I dunno, maybe I'll feel different when I start being brittle.
29) Who is the person you can count on the most?
I can count on... Helen! That is why she is my emergency contact and has all my spare keys.
30) If you could date any celebrity, past or present, time and age are not a factor..
You mean hang out with them and then sleep with them? In the past? Catherine the Great, I hear she was a wildcat. No, I want to change my answer: Mary of Nazareth. Downside: Jesus always yelling "you're not my dad!" when I try to tell him to do stuff.
31) What books have you pretended to read?
Lipstick Traces
32) What's a word you'd use to describe your life?
Crunchtastic
33) What's your favorite drinking game?
The "who can drink a 12oz hawaiian sun juice the fastest" game. 6 seconds.
34) What did you dream about last night?
Me and Helen were having a motorcycle race through the Kahala Hilton. Her on some kind of old school hardtail, me on one of those pointy sportbikes. I beat her off the line and got way ahead, because she misunderstood the starting procedure. I misunderstood the directions and got kind of bogged down finding my way. Eventually she caught up and we restarted evenly from somewhere near the dolphin pool.
35) Favorite vice?
Fatty foods such as donuts, bacon, and fried chicken. Fry hammy vice.
36) What's the last thing you'd ever tell someone?
"Vote dongs". Never happen.
ladycalliope into the groundI'm just warming up for an entry in my real journal. This journal rejects me. This journal threw me away.
1) What's the middle name of first person you slept with?
Akiko. Is this one of those questions where the questioner just wants to find out if you've slept with anyone? I don't understand why, but lots of quizzes are sprinkled with this kind of vaguely prurient yet naive question. But what if their middle name was the same as my middle name? Now THERE'S some information!
2) What kind of underwear are you wearing, and what color are they?
Cotton boxer briefs, which are black. Why are you so interested in my underwear? My guess is, this question is to find out whether a girl wears thongs, which are currently fashionable. IN THAT IT HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL.
3) What song do you want played at your funeral?
Unterlanders Heimweh. No! Uh.. seriously, some crazy arpeggio filled church organ thing, like what Dracula plays when he's feeling musically pissed off. I don't want pop music serenading my dead flesh or my poor mourners.
4) What is the number of your sluttiest friend so that some of your single friends can get some action?
WHAT? What the hell kind of quiz tries to take advantage of my friends with poor boundaries? Fuck off, quiz.
5) What would your last meal be before being executed?
Oh, donuts from Family Donut, and fried chicken from Ezell's. Their slogan could be, "almost worth committing a capital crime for!"
6) Beatles or Stones?
Lard. I'm not entertaining your damn false dilemma... this time.
7) If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be?
That lucky person would be Santa Claus. Die, judgemental polar elf!
8) The person whose problems you wouldn't want to hear?
If your worst problem is that there's two points of taxation in your dividend income stream, shut up.
9) What is the thing most important to you about the preferred sex?
A powerful mission statement... and nice boobs! Okay, seriously, it's important that they be aware of the influences of information. I dunno if that's the most important thing. I can sorta imagine it, but it's hard to describe it other than that they have to be pretty smart in pretty specific ways.
10) Do you secretly hate some of your friends but are too nice to reject them?
I respect every last one of my friends enough to tell them when I hate them.
11) If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Super-teleporting power! So practical. I'll drive FedEx into the ground! I could say "word to your mother", and then actually have a brief encouraging word with your mother.
12) Favorite hangover cure?
It's pretty good: starting the night before you get the hangover, drink lots of water and not as much alcohol, and try not to be such a disgusting moron.
13) How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
Not really that many. However, from this metric you can calculate biological parameters, so I'm protecting that information.
14) Favorite Outkast lyric?
I like this one snare drum noise in one of their songs. So I guess it says "fwappppp".
15) Hair color you most like someone you're dating to have?
Medium brown to dark/black. Or reddish. Or blonde. Or bright green. Or none. I intensely dislike people whose hair exists and is not a color. Transparent? Eugh! Pass!
16) If you had to be blind or deaf, which would you choose?
Blind. You're basically asking me to choose between SUPER HEARING and HUGE GESTURE VOCABULARY. What about losing other senses? You forget about touch, taste, smell? Man, I'd trade my sense of smell for five bucks. Then I'd buy a bus pass and ride in comfort.
17) Do you have any psychiatric problems?
Think I've got everything sort of under control here. So maybe I'm overly controlling. ha
18) Siblings that should go to rehab?
Not anymore! Go, my awesome siblings.
19) Least favorite month?
January. It's like the Monday of the year. Or wait.. make that September. The name seems to imply it's the seventh month, but it's the 9th. All the months from then on have that 2-off problem. Also dumb things happen in September like usenet going to hell and
Kris getting older.20) Favorite hateful thing to do to somebody?
Add consonants to the front of their name (or change an existing one) to try and make unpleasant words and say these to myself contemptuously. Andrew the bandrew, the big fat fandrew...pfft.
21) First movie you remember seeing as a kid?
Krull. Did you know they just re-released Krull on DVD last year? Yep. In fucking SEPTEMBER!!!
22) Favorite person in the whole world?
I hate playing favorites.. I love you all!
23) When's the last time you went on a date?
I don't date. I just hang out with people and then sleep with em.
24) Do you like violent movies or dirty movies?
I liked "L.A. Confidential", so the answer to this overly general question must be yes. What else is there to watch? Even "Bambi" is violent and has animals getting ready to make out.
25) Fall or spring?
What the fuck are you trying to ask me here? At least this isn't one of those quizzes where the whole thing is just 100% false dilemmas. Fall. As in, fall off a cliff and splat.
26) Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
I don't regret any of that making out, really, and if I have to choose, I can see this getting back to them somehow and making them feel bad. What the fuck good does that do?
27) If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
Nobody so far. All you guys seem weirdly unappealing, despite how sexy you supposedly are.
28) Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle?
Hawaii. I can visit Ed, who will also be living there. I dunno, maybe I'll feel different when I start being brittle.
29) Who is the person you can count on the most?
I can count on... Helen! That is why she is my emergency contact and has all my spare keys.
30) If you could date any celebrity, past or present, time and age are not a factor..
You mean hang out with them and then sleep with them? In the past? Catherine the Great, I hear she was a wildcat. No, I want to change my answer: Mary of Nazareth. Downside: Jesus always yelling "you're not my dad!" when I try to tell him to do stuff.
31) What books have you pretended to read?
Lipstick Traces
32) What's a word you'd use to describe your life?
Crunchtastic
33) What's your favorite drinking game?
The "who can drink a 12oz hawaiian sun juice the fastest" game. 6 seconds.
34) What did you dream about last night?
Me and Helen were having a motorcycle race through the Kahala Hilton. Her on some kind of old school hardtail, me on one of those pointy sportbikes. I beat her off the line and got way ahead, because she misunderstood the starting procedure. I misunderstood the directions and got kind of bogged down finding my way. Eventually she caught up and we restarted evenly from somewhere near the dolphin pool.
35) Favorite vice?
Fatty foods such as donuts, bacon, and fried chicken. Fry hammy vice.
36) What's the last thing you'd ever tell someone?
"Vote dongs". Never happen.
