s/(..)t/'B'.lc($1)/e
I had the worst non-catastrophic bike ride today. Orting->Eatonville, you see, has no landmarks, no shoulder or bike lane, and 55 mph speed limits. Also, it was graduation day, so as it got dark, we got more Seniors in trucks the size of houses passing us at 65, 2 feet away, throwing plastic bags out the window in front of us, etc.

But that wasn't the worst part. It was really the boredom. Ever have a trip with no landmarks? For instance, the flight Seattle->Hawaii. 5:45, nothing but clouds or ocean out the window. You might turn to conversing with complete strangers for entertainment! In Orting, it's like being on the same stretch of road, for 3 hours (except the occasionally rabbit, rat, or "baa" (when it's dark)). I want to call the author of the book I got this ride out of and ask if they've ever done it, cause jesus... it's rankling.

So, here's me, obviously unhappy, going up a hill dressed as a giant hornet. Note that I am 4 inches from the edge of the road. That is because a 18 wheeled pickup truck with rearview mirrors like the solar sailer is roaring past at roughly twice the speed limit. In front of me is H the fire beetle.


The only thing you get out of rides like this is stories, but nothing interesting happened. All I can do is keep making the trucks bigger and faster and the road duller with each retelling. Oh, there was that convenience store... er.. I guess it is THE convenience store in that area, where they sold Helen a bunch of dead batteries. That's almost a story!